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March 30, 2009

Stupid Commercial 1: Girl Confuses Schlong with Automobile?

Now I don't know my child labor laws, but doesn't this violate SOME sort of child-in-pornography regulation?  

girl_points_at_schlongage.jpg

Yes, that's right... She's pointing to Howie Long's pee-pee...  And shouting "I want THAT car!  That's a BIG girl car!"  To which Howie smiles and says "She's a SMART little girl." 

No.

No, Howie, she's not. 

She's calling your Oscar-Meyer-Of-Love a big car.

And while EVERY guy likes to think of his 'manhood' as rivaling that of a blue whale's, the shape alone, no matter how many STDs, could never look like an SUV... making them hard to confuse.

(Now if they were selling a penis-shaped-car like the Jaguar XK-E, perhaps this confusion would be understandable)

Whoever directed this commercial is either a COMPLETE idiot... or a total GENIUS (after all, it got my attention, right?  who can forget the ad with the girl going for Howie long's crotchal-region?)

I know I can't wait to drive MY new Howie Long's Schlong down the road! 

Please don't ask the miles per gallon.

Nice work guys.